Principal's Compass The log of our journey...

A COMMUNITY CONVERSATION: TIPS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS - December 2009 - by Nancy Becker, Ph.D., Principal

The community conversations we have had earlier this year have underscored the important role all of the members of our community have in helping our students succeed.  In the spirit of continuing the community conversation, I would like to share some helpful tips for parents of teens from Thomas Casady, our Chief of Police; reprinted below with permission. Thank you Chief Casady!

Sincerely,
Nancy Becker,
Principal

Tips for Parents of Teens - by Thomas Casady, Chief of Police

My friends:
I really believe that kids today are as good (and in some respects, better) than ever. Parents, on the other hand, could use some improvement. With the increased risks kids face today, my generation, the baby boomers, seems to need some very specific pointers. Here's a dozen from the police chief. If the shoe fits….

1. Clear Expectations
   Make it absolutely clear to your kids what you believe and what you expect. Don't assume that they know where you stand. Most kids are bonded with their parents, and they don't want to disappoint them. If they know you feel strongly about premarital sex, underage drinking, or illicit drug use, they are less likely to engage in these behaviors. Mom and Dad give them a strong reason to resist temptation.
   
   
2. Curfews
   All teenagers need a hard and fast curfew until they have reached the age of 19 or graduated from high school. I suggest 10:00 PM on school nights, and midnight on other nights as a reasonable curfew. Exceptions for older kids on special occasions should be just that—exceptions specifically approved by a parent in advance on a rare event such as a chaperoned post-prom party.
   
   
3. Unstructured Time
   With teenagers, it pays to minimize the quantity of purely unstructured time during the week. Teens need schedules. Time for homework, family time, part-time work, volunteer hours, household chores, sports and other extracurricular activities all provide structure to the week, and reduce the amount of unstructured time. Avoid a situation in which the major out-of-school activity is "hanging out" or "cruising." I know it's hard to stay up past the weather forecast, but I urge you to check out O Street at 1:00 AM on a warmish Friday or Saturday (that would actually be Saturday or Sunday) and see what you think. It is not the same as cruising King’s in 1969.
   
   
4. It's Three O'clock: Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?
   It is vital to know where your kids are, what they are doing and who they are with. You should know the full names of friends, where they live, when to expect your teens home, and exactly where they are going and what they are doing. There is nothing wrong with checking up on your kids now and then. Keep in mind that this is not just a nighttime issue: many problematic behaviors are happening right after school--before parents are home from work.
   
   
5. Sleepovers
   Overnight stays with friends should not be a weekly occurrence, and something is a bit amiss when high school aged kids want to spend Friday and Saturday night at a friend’s house. Think about it: wasn’t it about 7th grade or so when this was no longer cool? We frequently encounter kids out and about who have lied about staying with a friend, or host parents who are unaware that another teen is supposedly spending the night! The favorite place to stay is often the home with heavy-sleeping parents and a ground-level escape hatch. Never let your teen stay with a friend unless you know the parent and have discussed it in advance with the parent. Remember that you are entrusting someone else to provide a suitable environment for your teen.
   
   
6. Digital Breadcrumbs
   Everyone has a camera these days (it’s inevitably part of every cell phone), and there has been a huge proliferation of video systems in businesses and public places. As a result, both you and your kids are caught on camera several times every day. Several people at the party are taking photos, some of them covertly. And if you haven’t heard about “sexting,” you need to look it up. A 15 year-old may have no idea whatsoever about how those photos will come back to haunt him or her when they are a 18 year old applying to the United States Air Force Academy, or a 37 year old nominee for the District Court bench. The same should be said about personal blogs, Facebook posts, MySpace pages, and so forth.
   
   
7. Camping
   Camping is a great activity for teens, but you might be suspicious when your teenager who claims to have an allergic reaction to mowing the lawn suddenly wants to commune with nature on Friday night by going camping with friends. Maybe something other than s’mores is being consumed by the campfire. We often encounter underage drinking or other high-risk behavior at area campgrounds and lakes. I heartily recommend camping, but I also suggest parental participation.
   
   
8. Party Time
   Police officers encounter alcohol at teen parties regularly. Talk to your kids about this, and I think they will tell you that it is common for someone to be drinking at parties. Don't let your kids go to parties at private residences unless you have personally spoken to the parents who are hosting the event, and unless you trust them to ensure that the event is alcohol free and that they will be paying attention to what's going on downstairs. Stay up until your teen comes home, and use your nose!
   
   
9. Motel and Hotels
   Don't even think about renting a motel room for your teen, or allowing your teen to attend a gathering at someone else's motel room. Although motels have generally clamped down on teen rentals due to damage and complaints, it still happens with some regularity. This is particularly true on prom nights and during State basketball, volleyball, and wrestling tournaments.
   
   
10. Home Alone
    I don't think it's a good idea to let high school aged youth stay at home alone while parents are out of town--even overnight. We often encounter teen drinking parties at homes where the parents are gone. I know you don't think your teen would do such a thing, but the temptation is great. There are going to be three tough years when your teen is too old for a babysitter and too young to stay at home alone. This is when grandparents and best friends can help. Just remember to return the favor when the shoe's on the other foot.
    
    
11. Private Matters
    The fourth amendment does not apply to parents. Too many parents are ignoring dangerous behavior right under their nose—guns, drugs, gang paraphernalia, alcohol, cigarettes. If the police are finding these kinds of things in bedrooms and automobiles, you have to wonder why parents aren’t. You are free to look around in your teen’s room, car, drawers, closet, books, backpacks, under the bed, above the ceiling tiles, inside the ductwork, under the spare tire, in the ashtray, glove box, trunk, etc. An obsessive concern with adults looking around is a major warning sign.
    
    
12. You Aren't That Mean
    All teenagers of all generations try to convince their parents that every other parent lets their kids _________(fill in the blank). You tried this on your parents, didn't you? Don't fall for it. The other parents feel pretty much the same way you do. Doubt it? Call them and ask. What you will discover is this: that despite the kids' claims to the contrary, nobody's parents are comfortable with the idea of six teenagers loading into a car and driving to a concert in Kansas City. As soon as one parent expresses this feeling to another, the game is over.
    
    
13. "You Don't Trust Me"
    This is the neutron bomb of parent-teen relations, usually deployed when you are expressing some discomfort with a scheme suggested by your teen, and normally preceding the "you-are-so-mean" approach. Don't feel guilty. There's a pretty fine line between trusting and being gullible. Here's my favorite response: "I trust you. But I love you even more, and I don't want you to worry that I'll be worried." By necessity, these suggestions paint with a broad brush. Obviously there are exceptions, and there are exceptional kids. If it helps to get the job done, please feel free to blame me for your hopelessly old-fashioned and out-of-touch rules.

Sincerely,
Thomas K. Casady
Chief of Police

LIVING THE NORTH STAR LOGO - September 2009 - by Nancy Becker

As we enter our seventh year of existence and we welcomed 1838 students to North Star High School this fall.  During our existence, we have witnessed many exceptional students, events and contributions to the culture of North Star High School.  As we embark into a new year, we are reminded to keep our sights on the meaning of the North Star logo.

The logo pictures two arched arrows which shows the arrows in constant forward motion to achieve success.  We believe that is exactly what happens every day at North Star High School.  At North Star, students and staff have the opportunity and are challenged to improve their skills and gain new knowledge while always moving in a positive forward motion.

This year, North Star staff is also taking on the challenge of having courageous conversations.  We want to make sure we take the time to listen, really listen, which is one half of a conversation.   There are times when we will be engaged in the sharing of information that is difficult, especially ones that we need to have that will promote student achievement.  Our staff goal is to decrease the number of student failures.  We can't do the work for our students, but we will do whatever it takes to help them achieve.  As we search for ways to improve, to become better, staff agrees we need to live the logo!  

Booster parents are also living the LNS logo.  The continue to support their child's activities and promote North Star in the Lincoln community.  Hy Vee has partnered with Eclipse printing to develop 'Gator Gear' for all to wear.   We appreciate this community cooperation as we spread the good word.

Over 70 students have joined the North Star Superfan Club.  Anyone student can join, and it is a perfect way to show support for ALL activities at LNS!! 

Explorers depend on the North Star when there are no other landmarks in sight.  The same relationship exists between you and North Star High School.  Moving in the direction and realization of your full potential is living the logo.  It is our hope that ALL NAVIGATORS will be inspired and live the North Star logo.

Sincerely,

Nancy Becker

Welcome to the 2009-2010 School Year! - August 2009 - by Nancy Becker, Ph.D., Principal

Lincoln North Star High School is committed to developing academic excellence, positive relationships, and productive citizens.
-- LNS Mission Statement

We are entering our seventh year of existence. During that time, we have witnessed many exceptional students, events and contributions to the culture of North Star High School. As we embark into a new year, we are reminded to keep our sights on the meaning of the North Star logo. The logo pictures two arched arrows in constant forward motion to achieve success. We believe that is exactly what happens each and every day at North Star High School. At North Star, students and staff have the opportunity and are challenged to improve their skills and gain new knowledge while always moving in a positive forward motion.

Last March the LPS District and all six high schools participated in a national accreditation process. The accreditation process assures that North Star meets national standards for quality schools, North Star engages in continuous improvement, and demonstrates quality assurance through an internal and external review. Parents, students and staff contributed to the process, with some even being interviewed by an external review team. We have received the Quality Assurance Report and are pleased with the results.

Commendations include:

• Risk-taking, openness to change, and acceptance are practiced and nurtured at North Star High School
• The administrative leadership at LNS shares decision-making and leadership opportunities that promote student performance and school effectiveness.
• Building caring relationships between staff and students is at the heart and soul of Lincoln North Star High School. Putting students first is of highest priority.

Recommendations include:

• Implement a systematic continuous improvement planning process at North Star.
• Identify data sources to be used as “dashboard measures” and use these results for trend and comparison analysis.
• Explore new strategies to increase the active involvement of parents and community members in day-to-day activities at North Star.

What are our next steps?

• We need to celebrate our commendations and address our recommendations.
• At North Star we must develop a school-wide data team to work collaboratively with teachers to impact classroom instruction and interventions for all students.
• We need to communicate this information with parents and students.
• We also need to compare the student achievement data from the past five years to determine trends and establish overall target goals.

This year I plan to have an open meeting for parents on the first Monday of each quarter. This will be a time when I can share how we are meeting our goals, what’s new at LNS, and give parents a chance to ask questions. I will also be meeting with groups of students on a monthly basis. Staff will continue to have early release each Tuesday, but we will also meet once a month after school to analyze data. The commendations, recommendations and future steps will support our efforts in meeting our goals to improve student achievement, close the achievement gap and celebrate success for all students.

Sincerely,

Nancy Becker